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November 21st, 2008 admin Leave a comment Go to comments

Hallmark Wedding

Wedding Speeches - The Right Body Language

What is Body Language?

More specifically what is the proper body language to deliver a wonderful wedding speech?

Body language includes eye contact, facial expressions, hand gestures, your stance and your movements around the stage.

The use of body language is a personal preference. It is not something that should be forced as it is simply an outward expression of an inner feeling. The audience will detect faked or timed gestures. Physical gestures are personal and should not be imitated. For example, Bill Clinton used hand gestures to make his body speak. He often looked as if he were a conductor of a symphony. Other speakers such as Abraham Lincoln did not use the hands. Lincoln moved his head from side to make his body speak. Body language is a personal preference and there is no template for public speakers.

Eye Contact

The value of eye contact is no different on a stage in front of 1000 people than it is in a one-on-one conversation. Eye contact creates an air of honesty, confidence and inclusion. Obviously, you want to create an image of credibility. You want your listeners to believe your message and to believe in you as a person. For example, if you are paying a compliment to the bride you want to maintain strong eye contact with the audience. Otherwise, your compliment will seem insincere.

Eye contact is not simply bouncing your eyes from person to person. Rather, you want to look at one person and finish your thought while maintaining eye contact. After that point, you move your eyes to another person. Another key thing to remember is not to simply focus on the same handful of people. You want to experience eye contact with as many people as possible. On a subconscious level at the very least, people who have not received your eye contact will feel ignored.

You want to make your eye contact appear natural. Thus, you need to choose eye contact partners on a random basis. Look to the left of the room, and then look to the front of the room, and back to the left of the room and out into the back of the room etc. You do not want to have your eyes move in a perfectly circular fashion like a lighthouse beam into the ocean. Your eye contact must look spontaneous.

Gestures

Generally, you want to have your hands and arms resting at your sides. If your arms hang loosely at your sides, nobody will pay any attention to them. You do not want to distract your audience with your arm movement and position.

At any given time during your speech you may move your hands, your head or your shoulders. There is a dizzying array of gestures that one might make during a speech. You may open your palm to face the crowd to express some form of openness. You may make a fist to express a forceful point. You may compare contrasting ideas by opening one palm and then opening the other hand. You may make a teepee with your hands to convey a message of unity which would be appropriate when talking about the newly married couples' future together.

It is important to vary the type of gesture that you use. Gestures are no different than spoken words. If you continually repeat the same word you will distract or bore the audience.

The No-No’s of Gestures

1.    Do not put your hands in your pocket. This does not reflect confidence and control.
2.    Don’t grab the lectern or put your elbows on it. Some people grab the lectern with both hands as if it were a life vessel at sea. They use it as a safety blanket and it is the hallmark of an amateur.
3.    Another bad habit is to put your hands behind your back as if you were strolling in the park on a Sunday afternoon. This is a symbol of meekness that contradicts the fact that you are trying to portray impact and conviction.

Facial Expressions

On stage you are a performer. Your face will convey a message the same way that an actor uses facial expressions. A face of sorrow and a face of ebullient joy are totally different. Even a toddler can distinguish between the two types of facial expression.

The most common mistake that speakers make is that they do not use any facial expression. This conveys no emotion. The second type of mistake is that the facial expression is not consistent with the message. Often I see speakers smiling as they are going over a point that requires persuasion and a face of aggressiveness.

The Way You Stand

You want to appear confident. This means that you want to stand feet shoulder width apart with your body weight on both feet. You want to roll your shoulders back as most people slouch forward. Push your chest out slightly. Rocking from side to side is a common tendency for nervous speakers. Their foot movement almost looks as if they are slow dancing without a partner.

The Way You Move

Eyes are attracted to movement. This is why a litigator moves around a courtroom while he or she speaks to the jury. You do not want to nervously pace around the room but rather move with purpose. Your movement should be consistent with your speech. When you move forward toward the audience it is because you want to emphasize a key point. You may shuffle a few steps after finishing a point to stimulate more attention.

However, for a wedding speech it is best to keep things simple and just stand still.

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