Hope Love

November 12th, 2009 admin Leave a comment Go to comments

Hope Love

FAITH HOPE LOVE AND GOOGLE

FAITH, HOPE, LOVE AND GOOGLE

A MODERN TALE OF THE GREAT VIRTUES

Larry R. Boller RRT, MBA

Two years ago, just a few days before Christmas, I got the call from my doctor following up on a routine test. He needed to see me. When I got there he told me that he had "found something he didn’t like." This led me to believe that I was going to like it even less. While doing an upper endoscopy (which looks at the esophagus and stomach) he had found areas that he thought might be cancer! Esophageal cancer had two characteristics: one, it was relatively rare so I would have to go somewhere else for treatment and two, it is usually fatal. At the same time, they also saw a shadow on my liver with a CT scan, but I knew that had been there for several years so it was probably nothing. So, over Christmas 2006 I awaited my appointment with the the Large Very Prestigious Medical Center with anxiety and denial, but also some sense of Hope.

I went to the Medical Center on January 3rd 2007 it was a terrible visit. They told me I did have cancer; I did not want it. The main doctor they assigned to me had all the bedside manner of my shoes! After being seen by a team of doctors, they were in agreement that my only Hope lay in a complex operation. The surgery they were talking about would open me from stem to stern and remove all of my esophagus and hook my stomach up with the back of the mouth they would also take a peek at that "shadow" on the liver--nothing guaranteed and not particularly pleasant, but certainly better than the alternative. Leaving that appointment, the only Hope appeared to be in the form of this surgery, which they reported would alter my lifestyle considerably. But, with Faith in God, to whom I had assigned the role of "Case Manager," I agreed to have it two weeks hence.

I started my negotiations with God to see what could be arranged. Wasn’t there a simpler procedure? Should I not have the surgery and let nature take it’s course? Was he sure about this whole Heaven thing? Were my parents there waiting for me? Would I be able to watch my children and grandchildren? Did he realize that I was only 56 and that all of my grandparents, great grandparents and parents had died of heart disease… no cancer anywhere! While I knew better that to demand things I did ask for some consideration on these issues. It was the first in a series of conversations we would have--my Faith prodding me along toward Hope.

I went back to work, and at the urging of one of my coworkers, I called a staff meeting to let my staff hear the story directly from me. I must admit to being heartened by the outpouring of sentiment, hugs and words of encouragement. It was the first of many such outpourings until I had prayer chains, whole churches, fellow Catholics, Christians, Jews and one Muslim praying for me. I could feel a ball of energy surrounding me I am sure it was the power and goodness of the Spirit. St. Paul clearly new what he was talking about--Love truly is the greatest of the virtues.

They simply “Opened and Closed” me, which usually is a bad sign. They told me and my wife (who actually could remember, I was lost it in the haze) that I would likely be dead in six months.

My wife, an RN, and I have both been in healthcare for 42 years each and have always tried to act as extensions of His Healing Hands. While we prepared for what the Medical Center had told us, we had the Hope to keep looking. We knew lots of people who knew people and with the guidance of the Spirit we reached out, there were people searching the entire country and Internet for ideas and innovations. We looked into chemotherapy for the “inoperable tumor of the liver.” The Medical Center had one cocktail that had maybe a 5% chance of working. That did not seem like something to loose all your hair and most of your meals for, so I decided to pass on that bit of fun.

When we got back home, Hope took over and we talked with friends and realized that as long as my doctors were sure that the two tumors were related they would not treat it because this had it classified as "terminal Stage IV cancer of the esophagus with metastatic disease to the liver." On the other hand I was convinced because of timing issues that they were two different cancers. In most cases, this would be unlikely, but if I could prove it then the standards of care would prompt independent and aggressive treatment as two Stage 1’s.

To attempt to get this clarification we had the pathology slides sent two places that were sufficient in stature that the Medical Center folks would listen, should they disagree. The Armed Forces Institute of Pathology said that they really could not see a difference in the tissue, but also conceded that they did not have to be the same. Secondly, the expert in the pathology of liver cancer is at the University of Minnesota. I called him and he agreed to look. I was in Disney World… a place where "Dreams Really Do Come True"...when this Professor of Medicine called me. He told me that based on his review of not only the slides but the medical history I supplied, had him convinced that they were likely two separate cancers. This report along with a letter from me went back to Medical Center.

Over the next 20 months I underwent many innovative treatments. For a while I was having a procedure every month, none of them as radical as the originally planed surgery but not a lot of fun either.

With all of the prayers coming in, apparently the Spirit decided to somehow direct my communications in two directions the first to a fellow who I had met when he did an ultrasound procedure on the esophagus. At that time, I did not know he was one of only four people in the world who used a combination of tools to peel, cut and burn the cancer away from the very fragile inner wall of the esophagus. A little bit at a time, for the past eighteen months now, he has been peeling, cutting, using radiowaves and electric current to destroy my esophageal cancer. As of now he has it all gone. I have to go for five years until they can say it is a cure.

The Google system must have been burning up with requests for “inoperable liver tumor” so many of may family and friends were working on this and found many results. I had Hope that someone somewhere would be able to do something. I found about four treatments that seemed reasonable, working with my wife and friends we narrowed it down to a first choice something called CyberKnife. We contacted two places that had this new robotic radiation surgery system one that uses a very fine beam of radiation controlled by a robot to destroy the tumor. Within a very short time we heard from one that my tumor was too big. The second, who must have gotten the memo from the Spirit, said they wanted to see me.

I believe that my discussions with the Father, Jesus, and Mary and guidance of the Holy Spirit have given me & my family the fortitude needed to get through this and to have the positive outcomes that we have had so far. I have had at least eighteen more months with my loving and supportive family. I have learned that if you give Love and are Loved, Faith and Hope will follow.

“And in the End the Love you take is equal to the Love you make” -Lennon/McCartney

Mallary Hope - Love Lives On